From mommy (in Africa):  “The words elicit patriotism and excitement…an eagerness swarms through my mind as I receive my orders to report to Djibouti, Africa for duty…in this case to preserve our standings in the humanitarian outreach of struggling third-world countries. 

I was “reporting for duty” and being given the opportunity to communicate the wonderful story of how the United States is providing a helping-hand to educate, provide medical care and strengthen the lives of the people in this country, that I was about to call “home” for the next several months.
 
However…reality induces fear, anxiety, apprehension and worry.  I must leave my sons …my life…my world.  Silly, frivolous questions suddenly command my heart’s complete attention.  Will they forget me?  Will they replace me?  Will our relationship be the same when I return?
  
Am I failing them as a mother…am I abandoning them?  It’s so hard to let go of the traditional motherly mold instilled by society, as well as my own upbringing.  Mothers have historically fulfilled the primary role of raising their children. “Primary”…meaning “most important…first in sequence”.  “Most important”… hmmm…let that sink in. 

As an enlisted member of the United States Air Force, we have sworn to put “Service before Self.”  So does leaving my sons to serve my country reveal that I have failed as a mother?  NO!!!  I have mastered both serving my country and being the absolute best mother I can be for my boys. 

Of course I can do it…with help along the way…much needed help at that.  My mother was the help I had come to depend on and regardless of what was going on in her life, she never let me down.  Each time I am deployed, she has to transform into me overnight…she has to become a working mother…this time a single, working mother.

But she’s almost 50 (although a very young 50) and going through a very unexpected, painful divorce.  What will this mean to her life?  She was devastated by the divorce at first, but has really reinvented herself and her life.  She sounds so happy when I talk to her now…so free…she’s even dating.  What will this do to her world…having to take care of a young child?